The Importance of Forgiving Yourself: How to Let Go of Regret and Self-Blame in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Welcome to EMDR for CPTSD and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, with Joanna Rose MA AMFT.
Are you ready to release the heavy burden of regret and self-blame that’s been holding you back? It’s time to forgive yourself and step into your power.
As a survivor of narcissistic abuse, it’s essential to recognize that you’re not to blame for the actions of the abuser and you did not choose to attract this type of person into your life. It’s time to take care of you, to begin your healing journey and let go of the past that no longer serves you.
That’s all find and dandy, but like…how?
Forgiving yourself means embracing your feelings. Allowing yourself to feel the pain and emotions that come up in a safe environment. With care and time, releasing these thoughts and feelings and learning how to let them go. Learning how to reset to a state of calm and clear headedness quickly after things or people throw you off. This may be helpful to do with a trauma informed therapist who has the background in helping people with narcissistic abuse recovery and complex trauma (C-PTSD) to help you though.
Stop the Negative Self-Talk: Your thoughts have the power to create your life, so learning to speak and behave kindly to yourself is important. Thoughts like, “I’m not good enough” or “I’m worthless” are having a bigger impact on your life than you may even realize. It’s possible to learn how to replace the negative self-talk with encouraging thoughts that drive you closer to being the person you wish to be. This can feel absolutely ridiculous at the start; you’re rewiring your brain after all, and that process doesn’t happen overnight. Keep at it until it’s deeply set into your very bones. I can teach you strategies how to do this.
Practice Self-Love: Treat yourself with the same loving kindness that you pour onto others! Nourish your body, mind, and soul with self-care rituals that make you feel good. The possibilities are endless here. You get to decide what it is that lights you up inside. It’s through the process of discovering what you love to do with your time that you experience moments of delight. Where once you found yourself avoiding people, places, and things or numbing yourself, now you’re carving out time to enjoy life on your terms.
Focus on Lessons Learned: The lessons you’ve learned along the way from having this series of excruciating experiences are invaluable. They’ve made you who you are today, so you’re better able to be who you choose to be each day. Reflect on the lessons, give them an appropriate place in your heart and mind. Use them to empower and inform yourself and others. This is a big one and is the reason I love helping people through their trauma. It never gets old to see people on the other side of their pain - wiser, aware of their strengths. Reach out today if you want to work with me on discovering how to be more of who you are each day.
